Wednesday, April 2 (off)

Hadn't taken off in a while, and I wanted to get some homework done. The April Fool's edition of the Tech came out a day late. My contributions:
Caltech Announces UPP 0.1 lecture series, etc
LIGO Detects The Wave
Wake Up, Frosh. It's Monday!

Plus the bare headlines:
Science
String theorist almost predicts winning lottery numbers
Libbrecht unlocks secrets of dandruff formation
God can't stop snickering at cosmology seminar
Geologists launch "one earthquake per child" program in third world nations
Nothing much comes out of black hole conference
Biology outreach program introducing underprivileged children to the joys of pipetting
Solid-state physics survivor tells all: his chilling experience with superconductors
Darpa Grand Challenge team's robotic MechE major almost understands ACM 95


Sports
Fencing team's new practice location - wherever you were trying to walk.
Ping-pong player switches to swimming, completes 100 laps of kiddie pool

News
Ricketts house just needed some vitamin D (apparently this is an old joke)
Caltech mourns loss of level-23 warrior
Less than 50% of senior turtles would recommend Throop pond to young turtles
Richard Dawkins' daughter doesn't believe in brushing her teeth
Goodstein runs out of gas on way to energy conference
Simple country hydrogen cloud heads to LA to become a star
Fleming House showing great spirit about something or other
New physics building works great in theory
Scandal on campus: quantum mechanics lab collapses under probe from FBI
Self-referential headline not witty enough to satisfy readers